There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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