I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
