There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize