can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
