So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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