Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize