Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death