drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
