Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants