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• (415): View more from California

  my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"

  (650): View more from California

  LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Did you see that girl I got with last night?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

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• (714): View more from California

  We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen

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• (207): View more from Maine

  He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house

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