What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
