she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
