watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
