doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
