i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
