after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize