My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
