Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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