Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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