I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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