Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
