my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
