I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
