Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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