I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
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I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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