You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize