Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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