I cut my penus on the lid.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
