Your tits are I can't wait for
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
