that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
