that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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