This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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