the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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