another moral hangover. fuck.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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