I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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