If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
