We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
