His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
