Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Even my vagina gasped.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
