3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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