I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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