get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
