u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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