i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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