He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
