My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
