More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
