you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
