The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
