fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
