yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
