"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
