At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
