I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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