I got chris browned last night
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
