Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
