brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
