he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
