If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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