Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
