I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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