When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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