ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
