I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
