It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
