oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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