my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
