Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
